


Irrational

by Cherry



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Drabble, Levi makes Erwin irrational, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-23
Updated: 2013-09-23
Packaged: 2017-12-27 11:33:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 280
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/978374
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cherry/pseuds/Cherry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leaving the safety of the walls, everyone has rituals.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Irrational

The girl with the short red hair who is riding alongside the last of the supply wagons raises her blade to the heavens as she approaches the gate, and presses her lips to the grey steel before sheathing it.

Erwin notices, of course, but makes no comment. They all have their private rituals of leave taking or reassurance; bargains struck with gods, or fate, or else the simple comfort of repetitive habit: _if I do this, think this, bless the walls, kiss the ring he or she gave me, touch the lucky charm… Last time, when I did this, I came back safely, and, so, this time…_

When Erwin was young he bargained for himself; later, for his troops. His troops died anyway in vast numbers, and especially the young. Erwin learned that such bargains made no difference, and any faith he may once have held in extra-human powers or influences was devoured on the battlefield. And yet, at every sortie, he closes his eyes and asks the empty air beyond the walls for one favour: the preservation of one life. He feels all the irrationality of his silent prayer, and also a kind of shame at the weakness of asking for protection for the one, of all of them, who needs it least.

  _Pray for the new recruits, if you have to pray,_ he admonishes himself. _Pray for the boys and girls who must become men and women in the space of their first battle, and for those who will die nonetheless._

But, still, as the long column of troops and wagons passes out through the last gate, Erwin closes his eyes. His prayer, two syllables: an unvoiced name. 


End file.
